


Solace

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Love, Mornings, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 07:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: There were the bad mornings when Minerva would be driven from her sleep by the memories of what she'd done and who she'd become, and the good mornings when she would make in Erza's arms and allow herself to believe in the life she had now. Then there were the other mornings, the ones where Erza's nightmares and pain bled over.
Relationships: Minerva Orland/Erza Scarlet
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Solace

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/6sSddAWa5c).

There were some mornings that Minerva would jolt awake with a wordless cry of terror on her lips, or sometimes a small, whispered plea. The words of a broken girl left in the forest, the desperation of a woman who had tried to become a little less human in the search for a victory that she now realised she’d never wanted in the first place. A child still trapped in the shadow of her father. They were terrible mornings, and although they had become less frequent, and less potent as time passed, and she breathed and lived and loved freely, they still had the power to send her into Erza’s waiting arms. Arms that would close around her, blocking out the world, and grounding her in the present as the memories and ghosts assailed her. A sanctuary that she still wasn’t entirely sure she deserved, let alone how she had someone how managed to claim it for her own, those thoughts and questions slowly banished from her mind by soft words and even softer kisses.

Those were the bad mornings. Then there were the good mornings, the ones where she would either wake tangled around Erza, the two of them curled so tightly together that there were moments where she wasn’t sure where she ended, and her girlfriend began. Or, where she would drift awake to the feel of gentle fingers combing through her hair, and tender, butterfly kisses across the exposed skin on her shoulders, and Erza smiling down at her. She savoured those mornings, those ethereal moments between waking and the rest of the day when there was nothing but two of them – her, and her crimson-haired angel. There was still disbelief in those moments, where she would reach out as though in a dream, half-expecting the vision of Erza to melt away. Unable to put into words the relief that would grip her when her fingers brushed warm skin, or when Erza would meet her halfway, tangling their fingers together with a murmured ‘I’m here’.

This was a different kind of morning. 

Minerva woke suddenly and unsure of what had disturbed her. Her sleep had been blissfully peaceful for once, not even a dream let alone a nightmare bothering her, and for a moment, she just breathed, relishing the feeling. It was raining, a steady patter of water hitting the window, and strangely loud in the quiet of what she guessed was early morning. Maybe that was what had disturbed her? She frowned, and half asleep it took her a moment longer to realise the reason why it sounded so loud compared to normal, and why she had woken so suddenly.

_Erza._

Her girlfriend wasn’t curled against her like usual, the absence of the soft rhythm of her breathing and the frequent sleep mumbling against her ear, making the other sounds seem much louder. Nor was she sprawled across the bed, trying to take up as much room as possible, a rare but not unheard-of feedback to when she’d slept alone and tried to fill up the bed by herself. And even before she moved, rolling over to look at the other woman, she knew what she was going to find. Not that it made it any easier, as she looked across and saw that sure enough Erza was huddled on the far side of the bed, so close to the edge that a single wrong move could send her tumbling over in more ways than one. The distance stung, even though she knew that it wasn’t personal, but it wasn’t as painful as the realisation that Erza was hiding, trying to make herself as small as she could go, her body rigid and trembling.

It was one of those mornings.

Just like her own bad mornings, these ones had been getting rarer and rarer, and she didn’t have a clue what could have set it off this time. Not that it really mattered, because she was already moving. Shuffling across the bed towards Erza, each movement slow and exaggerated, giving her girlfriend the chance to pull away if she wanted to – and it wouldn’t be the first time. Although thankfully, that was even rarer than these mornings, and she was able to reach her side. The first thing she realised was that Erza wasn’t as quiet as she’d thought, it was barely audible, but she was making a soft, keening noise under her breath that broke Minerva’s heart. It also gave her a good indication of what memory had brought this on, and she was careful to keep her arms pressed against her sides even as she scooted across to Erza, plastering herself against her girlfriend’s rigid back, but making no effort to wrap her in a hug. _It was everywhere, and I couldn’t get free and I couldn’t fight it._ She doubted that either of them would ever be able to forget that conversation, where Erza had slowly, haltingly put into words what she had suffered in Kyoka’s hands during the Tartaros incident.

_I should have done more._

That was a familiar thought too, an old friend by now, and Minerva pushed it away and instead focused on the trembling body she was pressed against. “I’m here,” she whispered, echoing the words that Erza had used to rescue her so many times. And while it didn’t seem as though Erza had heard the words, she didn’t miss the hitch in the keening noise, or the breathless sob that followed as her girlfriend leaned ever so slightly into her. It was enough for now, and Minerva didn’t waste her breath on other, pointless words, knowing that Erza wasn’t ready to listen to them right now and that she had already said the one thing that mattered. _I’m here._ Because Erza had been alone back then, and just hearing those two little words helped to place her at the moment, to anchor her in the present.

She wasn’t sure how long they lay like that. Erza rigid and trembling in the protective curve of her body, although she was careful not to cut off her girlfriend’s escape route, even as she tried to surround her as best as she could with her warmth and presence. She didn’t think it would be needed today at leas, because at some point the soft, keening had faded away completely, with only a slight unsteadiness in Erza’s breathing indicating that she was still teetering close to that particular edge. That was fine, Minerva could be patient, letting the minutes melt away with the sound of their breathing, and the steady patter of rain on the windows.

It was going to be a quiet day, especially if this rain kept up, and she allowed her thoughts to drift just a little, wondering if she could convince Erza to spend the day in bed with her. They had no immediate need to take a job, and these bad mornings were usually preceded by little to no sleep, so Erza would be less tolerant of their friend’s shenanigans that usual. _Much safer to keep her here with me,_ Minerva thought, although she wouldn’t phrase it like that when she did suggest it because otherwise, her stubborn partner would undoubtedly insist on going outside until she did snap.

It was longer still, until Erza finally began to unwind from her protective ball, still trembling slightly, but not so tense as she began to come back to herself. Now, Minerva could reach out and touch, fingers light, different from the clawed fingers that she knew Erza remembered, as she ran her hand up and down Erza’s arm, trying to chase away some of the chill. She also started to talk, and while Erza still didn’t reply, she knew that the other woman could hear her now. That she was listening. Minerva honoured that, not wasting her voice on false platitudes or promises that it was going to be okay – they already knew that, but it wasn’t a shield against the memories or the fears. Instead, she whispered promises that she was there – true. That she wasn’t going anywhere without a fight, and that she could and would tear apart the world to make sure of that – also true. And soft, fervent reassurances that she was loved and safe.

Each word, and gentle pass of her hand, slowly eased Erza back into the present and gradually she could feel her girlfriend relaxing bit by bit. Until, eventually, she moved, rolling over so that she was facing Minerva, granting her a fleeting glimpse of eyes that while red-rimmed were beautifully alert and present until Erza curled closer. Banishing the last of the distance between them, and burying her face into the sanctuary of Minerva’s shoulder, releasing a shuddering breath, before whispering almost reverently.

“You’re here…”


End file.
